I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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