he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
