Just took my morning after pill in the library
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
