If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
