The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
