is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize