help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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