Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
