It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
