mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
