he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Dicks are not precious.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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