spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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