There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
