I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
