I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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