He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
