the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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