carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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