She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
