Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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