Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
