Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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