Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
