You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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