I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
