Just mADE A PArabola og urine
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
they need to just BURY HIM!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
