He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
