I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize