God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
