Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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