My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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