we have officially lost it.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
