My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
