are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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