if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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