he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
