woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
