you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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