Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
