So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize
