:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
