what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I didn't notice because vodka
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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