so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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