marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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