when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
