you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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