I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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