WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
