Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I have post one night stand depression
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