he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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