your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
