everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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