put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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