He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
