so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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