Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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