i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
