peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
