Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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