Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
