love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
