i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
