Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
