you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
