but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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