Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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