Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
