Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
