just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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