I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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