What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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