I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
