So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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