Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He had one of those small greek statue penises
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
