Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
