Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
