clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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