i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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