on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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